god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
