from now on my penis is your penis
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.