Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
