I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
