I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
