Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
