Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
