Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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