I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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