It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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