Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
