I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize