I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
