K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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