you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We need to rekindle our bromance
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
