I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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