spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.