smell my finger.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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