Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
