They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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