when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
