I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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