Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
