There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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