woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
