Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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