remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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