I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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