So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
