shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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