Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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