apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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