Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
