so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
