He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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