he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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