Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
