Sponge bath it is.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
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The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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