I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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