Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
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I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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