jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
