Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
