He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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