We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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