Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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