Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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