last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
