i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
