the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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