happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
