Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
