Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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