my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
whose parrot is this?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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