so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
