Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
