They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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