bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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