Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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