...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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