Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
