that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize