I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
