You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
