This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize